Sorry it is:

http://wwwlifeisfuncom.blogspot.com/

The End

I am following my friend Kristen's lead and ending my blog. It doesn't even really deal with not smoking anymore. It's just a bunch of incoherent, unrelated topics that I type every morning. Due to the title, I felt like it should still deal with smoking, but I think I have said all I can on thje subject matter.

So I am starting a new blog as well;

www.lifeisfun.blogspot.com

Ciao

Mirroring Back a Healthy Self Image

In a world where people make judgements about everything from what we wear, to what we watch, and even how we eat, do we ever view ourselves correctly? I often wonder this very thing about myself. I often try to stand back from my own miscoceptions about how I think i am viewed and wonder if i have an accurate read on how other's really view me. Can we ever see ourselves?

This is a hard concept. I have friends with spectacular self images of themselves, they sometimes have so much bravado and self confidence, I think....wow you amaze me. I have friends that belittle themselves, and focus on the few negatives they have and never see what other wonderful attributes they possess.

I often come back to my own self image. Am I on target? I don't think I will ever know. How do we know if what we put out there, really reflects who we are or more on point, who we think we are. Yesterday I was in the gym and I caught a reflection of myself in the mirror. I see an aging gay man, secretly dreading the effects of ageing, and wondering how bad do I look to others? Do they see my flaws as enhanced as I do, or am I camouflaging my deficits enough to get by? I wonder if we ever know?

The F'ing Birds

Marcello's cousin Jose and his partner went to Brazil and asked us if we would bird-sit. Marcello said yes right away, I knew this meant I would be bird-sitting and not Marcello as they live well over an hour from us and I am the one not working. So I have been going every two days to clean up their bird poop, change the water, put in new bird seed, and tie other bird seed to their cage. One bird in particular has been a challenge as he keeps escaping and then I have to chase him all over the house.

Sunday when we left the Cape we stopped by together to care and feed them. When we left they all seemed happy. For some reason I forgot to go yesterday so last night at 7 I got in my car and headed over. Luckily their parents are coming home today. As soon as I walked in the house I felt like something was awry. I walked upsatirs to the freakish row of bird cages (a wisteria lane of feathers if you will), and noticed one bird was sitting on top of the cage. A quick head count later and I realized several had gotten out. How they did this I still don't know. Birds kind of freak me out. They are not cute. They are not cuddely. And they do not listen to you. Here I am, a big mary, running through the house with my index finger sticking out, hoping they willl just land on my had as they divebombed my head. After many many profanities, several lost feathers, and many beak marks later on my hand, all these feathered convicts were locked up. I wanted a cigarette when all was said and done. I threatened to smoke the birds if they mis-behaved again. I told Marcello, we are NEVER bird-sitting again.

Sleep Deprivation

I need sleep. I have always been a person who functioned with a good night sleep. I remember when I was little all my friends were talking about their curfew and when they had to be in bed. I went home and asked my mother if I had a curfew. She said no honey you always go to bed on your own. Point made!!

Last night Marcello was snoring so loud I fantasized about killing him. I actually set the alarm 10 minutes early just to get him out of bed. In essence, I have had hardly any sleep. I think I nodded of in ten miunute increments and I am pretty sure i never hit REM sleep. When I don't sleep i am a bitch on wheels. You've been warned!!

Away for the Weekend

This weekend we went down the Cape for Chris's birthday. On Saturday night we went to a bar called the A-House. The place was packed and it was super hot in there. I ventured outside for some fresh air and found that I was in the "smoking" area. I was tempted for all of ten seconds till the smell hit my nose. Also, I found the air wasn't very fresh out there. It was pouring and I was under a roof, but I just didn't enjoy being near all of these smokers. As much as i wanted to cool off, I didn't want to sit and smell the smoke. I made my way back in the bar. I think there was a part of me that looked at the smoker's area earlier in the night like I was missing something being out there. Now I know I wasn't. Mission accomplished!!

Misunderstood

Poor Norman Bates. I think this chap may have been understood. Perhaps he was asked to take his mother shopping for living room furniture for a day. Perhaps his mother was tipping the scales of insanity and he felt he was doing the right thing. Perhaps, he just snapped while standing in the middle of Jordan's Furniture. We may never know exactly what Norman's motivation was, BUT, I think we should all stop judging him.